"In many situations there are (at least) two selves fighting inside each of us: The rational, adult self encounters a problem or a certain situation and says: You’ve been here before. You’ve already experienced this sort of person, situation, or difficulty. So handle it based on what happened before; Take what you learned in the past and apply it. Do this and this. Simple.
The other self wails no, no— this is new! It’s entirely different. I don’t know how to deal with it at all. I’ve never met someone this wonderful but I’m terrified I’ll do something wrong and lose them. Or I’ve never encountered anything this confusing or dangerous or challenging. I’m at a total loss for what to do about it. Paralyzed. That’s me, frozen in its headlights.
No matter how often life repeats itself, a part of us always clenches and says in a scared voice, “This is brand new to me. What do I do now?”"
— Jonathan Carroll
"I’m constantly embarrassed. I fidget and twist my hair and pull weird faces and stutter. Some days I feel quite confident, then others there’s a microscopic flaw about myself physically, which will make me embarrassed to walk the streets."
— Graham Coxon
"Are you quiet when you need to be loved? Or do you raise your voice into a lion’s roar? Will you nudge yourself into my hips? Will you bite my shoulders and say ‘I need you to love me harder today’? Are you softer in the mornings? Which side of the bed do you like to take? Do you sprawl yourself out and steal the covers? Do you sleep naked? Do you take your coffee black? In the summer, do you flip the pillow and sigh when your cheek touches the cold side? Do you keep the windows open at night? If so, how? Aren’t you scared of monsters? Do you know that I’m scared of everything that lives in the dark? Are you aware that sometimes I get so nervous I forget how to move my feet? Can you be patient? Can you be gentle? Do you know how? Is there a quiet war raging inside of you? When you curl your fists and raise your chin, are you donning your armour? Can I help? Can I fight all of your demons with you? I won’t shy away from them, not if it would make you happy. Do you know that I’d stand in the dark in an empty room for you? Do you know that I trust you’d never ask that of me? Do you know that I don’t flinch when you cup my face? Even though if you so much as twitched too hard you could break me? Isn’t this what trust looks like? Isn’t it how I am always skin and emotions for you? Isn’t it saying ‘I love you more today than I did yesterday, but it was a whole lot yesterday’? Listen, do you feel safest when you’re holding yourself together? Do you think someday you can let that go? Will you let me take the pieces of you and keep them close? Can you let me love you? Will you learn how to? It doesn’t matter, I’ll wait."
— Azra.T -